In 1962, when the U.S. discovered Soviet missiles in Cuba, JFK faced a decision that could have led to nuclear war. His generals pushed for an airstrike; while others urged diplomacy, and yet, he chose a blockade, and it worked. I've always been fascinated by JFK's presidency because of what I've read about situations like that (Bay of Pigs, His ties to MLK Jr.) That moment proved what I believe about leadership. It isn't scripted, and it certainly isn't in a textbook, and yet it always reveals itself in the uncertainty of tough situations.
So, what does it mean to be a leader, or better yet, how do you become one? This topic is at the center of the echo chamber of the world in which I live. A constant barrage of content about "what it means to lead" and "how to be a great leader."
When I think of the topic it has never had anything to do with reading Simon Sinek or listening to David Goggins. Not that I don't respect either of them, or that I don't believe them. I'm just more caught up in my own experiences versus theirs. Take my mother, for example. After my father was killed when I was 8 years old, she had to play both roles. On the fly, she had to learn how to support us, how to pay the bills, how to get us to and from everything, every day, and even though she had no idea how, she figured it out. Not because she wanted to, but because she had to. I've had several similar examples in my own life (try getting sober), or moving five states away for school without a guaranteed scholarship and not knowing a single soul.
That's why you're not going to learn to lead from reading a book on leadership or attending a leadership workshop.
You might get a few ideas or maybe a strategy, but when it comes time to execute the "plan" you think you're prepared for, that's when you'll realize whether you're a leader or not, and it will reveal itself in service, influence, or sacrifice.
Leadership doesn't come with an instruction manual, a course, or a trainer teaching it from a textbook. It doesn't matter if it's organizational leadership, corporate leadership, sales leadership, or if the guy "teaching you leadership" is a trained professional. It doesn't make a difference. All great leaders have once faced a dire situation, not knowing if something will work, but somehow remaining optimistic that it will and demonstrating to others that no matter what happens, you'll be right there with them.
Those dire situations we find ourselves in define leadership.
I think for years, with naivety, we've assumed that you could prepare yourself to lead by calculating situational awareness, role-playing outcomes, and creating protocols and processes around "what you're supposed to do," but I would question every single person...ever, who was trained under those potential scenarios if their training ever played out exactly they way they prepared for them...I would bet they didn't.
This is a controversial statement: "I believe that you either are a leader or you are not."
There is no in between. Leadership occurs when something happens in your life, something traumatic, something unplanned, something you can't prepare for, and then in that moment, you get to decide whether you want to go through the challenge or go around it. One of these paths is unknown; the other is a copout.
A few weeks ago, I was having a conversation with an acquaintance who told me about a meeting he had with the CEO of his company (who's since been fired). As this acquaintance of mine was saying, he attempted to shake the CEO's hand on the plant floor, only for the CEO to say, "I don't interact with employees on the plant floor," as he kept his hand down.
When I heard that, I had one thought: "I bet that CEO was trained by a professional leadership coach, straight off the pages of a leadership book he studied."
So, when I hear people "teaching leadership" in business settings, all I can think of is, "I hope they're not charging for that."
Think you're a leader? If you are, you don't have to.
